“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
― Søren Kierkegaard
Over a year ago I wrote a Lessons Learned entry about maturity and within that post I mentioned the importance of letting go of your significant other’s past. Who they were or what they did can help you learn who they used to be. But that’s the point, that was who they were before you. Letting your partner’s past not affect you is a big step in a relationship but letting go of your own past is an even bigger step. Whether it is in romantic relationships, friendships, family, or how you view yourself there are three points that I have learned regarding your own past:
Learn from it: Every past situation can be a life lesson. You may not learn from an argument that happened yesterday or even a decision that happened years ago, but eventually, with time, there will be something that you gained from any situation. Whether it is learning to always trust in your family’s opinion, ways to be a better friend, or to never again attempt that one fashion failure. How little or big the experience, something is learned from it. Even if that something is not make the same mistake twice.
Let it go: As cliché as it may sound, the past is simply the past. I am extremely guilty of playing out the “what if’s” of past situations. “What if I did this, said that, did more of this or less of that.” Dwelling on it will make moving on harder to grasp. You may not understand the past now but I found that one day you will understand why things turned out the way they did.
Don’t regret it: I believe this point to be the most important. No matter how hard it may have been or how much you may wish you never made a certain decision, in the end you cannot regret it. If I look at myself today, what I have accomplished, who I am, and what I know, I know those characteristics that make me proud of myself would not be relevant if my past life had been any different. The most important thing is that we have today and our future to make ourselves even better than our past.
The best effort I can make everyday is to put yesterday behind me and keep looking forward. And on a lighter note when we keep looking forward we see the weekend quickly approaching.
Keep your head held high and let the past be the past.
Cheers to this being the 100th post of Head Held High!